Latexelf's Last Adventure

Part one



11 / 05 / 2018

Estimated reading time: 3 min


Dear friends of latex,

Christmas is coming soon, and if you're not yet aware of this, all the campaigns that have just started launching will make sure you will be. We couldn't stay behind, of course, but in the spirit of our motto ”done differently”, we've decided that instead of discounts and thematic products, we'll give you something original, funny and perhaps even interesting. Over the course of the upcoming weeks, our blog will feature a short Christmas story about Latexelf who, forced into action by his gnomish neighbours, has to embark upon one last adventure. We hope you'll find it a pleasant read, and... just remember we're here once you start shopping for presents ;)



Part one



Snow was falling on the beautiful landscape, as well as on the lovely village in the valley. It was close to midnight, most of the cottage windows were already dark, but the hamlet wasn't completely asleep. A solemn line of gnomes with lanterns was walking up the path leading to a stately manor on a nearby hill, their worried voices weaving between the falling snowflakes.

”What if...?”

”Perhaps if we…”

”Hush, we are almost there! Let me do the talking, friends!”

They walked in silence until they reached the manor itself. The gnome who had previously shushed his neighbours swallowed hard, raised a fist and banged on the door, immediately cursing and trying to scratch glitter off his hand.

For a while, nothing happened, but just as the lead gnome gathered the courage to bang on the door once more, quick angry steps could be heard from within. A bolt rattled, there was a click in the lock, and then the door cracked open just a bit.

”What?” barked a sonorous voice.

”Well... we...” began the lead gnome.

”Winylgor the Wizard stole all our presents!” blurted out one of his neighbours.

”Well isn't that sad,” said the deep voice as the door began to close. However, another gnome, emboldened by his neighbour's words, quickly stuck his foot into the frame.

”You have to help us, Latexelf!” he shouted.

”Yes! You must help us!”


”And you could invite us in instead of keeping us out in the cold,” added someone quietly.

The door opened just enough to allow a scolding face to peek out, dominated by a jutting red beard. ”And why exactly must I help?”

”Well... erm...”

”I mean... truth be told...”

”Because otherwise, we will stop buying your... goods.”

”Yes, yes! I was just about to say that! We will stop buying your goods!”

Latexelf let the door open wide. The gnomes could see now that he was dressed in a short fluffy bathrobe. They must have called upon him during one of his famous dips. Latexelf glared at the gathering for a moment, then he spread his arms wide and bellowed: ”And where else would you buy it, you little bastards?”

”From Latexork,” uttered one of the gnomes.

Oh no! thought Latexelf in despair. His goods are crude and full of holes. These tiny goblins would multiply like rabbits!

The gnomes started to smile. It was clear from Latexelf's haunted face that they had won.

”Fine then,” grumbled Latexelf in resignation. ”So where does he live, this wizard of yours?”

”In a kingdom far far away... somewhere over there,” pointed one of the gnomes.

”Of course he does,” sighed Latexelf, already pondering how to dress for battle.


* * *






Latexelf during one of his famous dips. Wallpaper? Who said wallpaper? :)






Design: Kameko Epitaph & Hugo Holý

Photo: Marie Pracnová

Model: Golden

Makeup: Geen Pagliacci

Writer: Grimlitz




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